Welcome to week nine of the NFL season! We are halfway there, and almost ten teams are living on a prayer. But the thing about week nine is that there was A LOT of bad football. In my opinion, seven teams could make a case for scrubs, but we can only have three. Let’s see who remained appointed in the win column and disappointed in themselves!
Scrubs: Bears
The Bears have won three of the last four games and lost to a Hail Mary last week. Despite last week’s loss, no one is sold on the Bears’ being terrible. Well, that was last week. This week? They could be. A rough loss versus the Cardinals could spell doom for the Bears as they fall to 4-4 and last place in the NFC North. What makes this worse? DJ Moore was caught leaving the field mid-play and gave an uninspiring answer on whether head coach Matt Eberflus has lost the Bear’s locker room. “I wanna say no.” An answer that is as confident as it wasn’t. It also doesn’t help that Eberflus is under fire for having Caleb Williams playing garbage time, especially considering Williams tweaked his ankle during that drive. It’s been a bad few weeks for the Bears and their fanbase. Next week is the 2-7 Patriots in Chicago. This is a must-win for Chicago if they wanna stay hot.
Dubs: Chargers
The Chargers are in a good spot at 5-3 and could be a solid wild-card team. The only issue is that the Chiefs are still undefeated. Still, it has been a solid two weeks for the Chargers, as they have won by 17+ points in the last two games and have won three in a row. With a Broncos loss knocking them to 5-4 and a matchup next week versus the 2-6 Titans, things are looking up for L.A. Don’t bolt it all up!
Scrubs: Saints
The saying goes, “When the Saints go marching in…the opposing team starts licking their chops”. The Saints have lost seven games in a row after starting 2-0. But don’t worry, Saints fans, your guys are breaking so many records this season. Let’s go over them all! Since 1950, when a team gains more than 425 yards of offense, gives up less than 250 yards to their opposition, and has zero turnovers, before the Saints game, they were 138-0, now 138-1. There is a 9-way tie between most losses from each team by a quarterback, with 30 teams. Saints starting QB Derek Carr now has 31 and could make it 32 with a loss to the Raiders this year. All these records are still not the worst of it. Former Saints receiver Michael Thomas trashed Derek Carr on Twitter, Chris Olave suffered his sixth concussion in five years, and star corner Marshon Lattimore was traded before the deadline. The only good thing to come out of this? Dennis Allen, their head coach, has been fired. An overall record of 18-25 as the Saint’s head coach perfectly described Allen’s time with the Saints. Special teams coordinator Darren Rizzi will take over as head coach for the remainder of the season. What a week for the Saints! And next week? Versus the achieving Falcons. And now they’re marching out.
And speaking of the Falcons…
Dubs: Falcons
The Falcons might be a contender, but that’s an enormous might. Despite a 1-2 start, the Falcons are on fire with a 6-3 record and a considerable lead in the NFC South. With the Buccaneers now at 4-5, the Falcons are soaring to the division title for the first time since 2016. An impressive 3 TD game for Kirk Cousins puts the Falcons in the win column for the second week. Can the Falcons keep the lead going as the NFL runs into the second half? If the Super Bowl has taught me anything, Falcons fans, don’t get cocky!
Scrubs: Cowboys
Oh, Dallas, lol. A fake punt on your own 40-yard line down by one score? Ezekiel Elliot inactive due to missed meetings? Dak Prescott has a hamstring injury? CeeDee Lamb has a sprained AC joint? Jerry Jones is telling a story about Michael Irvin from 30 years ago to explain why he still believes in this team? To be fair, that’s the last time they were relevant. But don’t worry, Cowboys fans! Jerry Jones has a plan! He’s gonna trade for a receiver he’s been watching since college! That receiver is…Jonathan Mingo? The guy who has six drops in his career and zero touchdowns? And if you think I’m asking too many questions for Dallas, it’s not like they’ll answer back. Just look at the scoreboard to see if that’s true or not.
Dubs: Ravens
Any doubt on the Ravens ends now. A perfect passer rating for Lamar Jackson as he throws three touchdowns and only three incompletions. Derek Henry had over 100 rushing yards and two touchdowns. Zay Flowers got involved with five receptions, 127 receiving yards, and 2 TD catches. All this and a 41-10 win against a top-five defense in the Denver Broncos. Baltimore feasted as Jackson furthers his case for more than just an MVP trophy. A big Thursday night game could decide what the AFC North comes down to, as Baltimore will be at home against a 4-5 Bengals team with a ticked-off Joe Burrow.
The NFL enters week ten as playoffs just get closer by the snap. See you all next week!
