Week 8 of the NFL had a lot of buzz, not talking Lightyear. But which teams are looking to go beyond, and who will be stuck in infinity obscurity? From a transaction unsatisfaction, division supremacy, and play of the year? Let’s get it!
Scrubs: Bengals
The Bengals came into Cincy with momentum off a win against division rivals, wearing their white alternate uniforms, which they were undefeated in, and a team they hadn’t lost to since 2000. Surely, the Bengals have this in the bag, right? No, they didn’t. And don’t call me Shirley. Last week, the Bengals showed massive promise with a solid victory in Cleveland. This week, fans aren’t happy at all. A struggling run game, a poor defensive performance, and Jalen Hurts having an 80% completion rate resulted in an embarrassing loss in Cincy. Some are giving up, and some are watching through their fingers as the Bengals remain at home in a matchup versus the 2-6 Raiders. A game the Bengals should win has been the story all year, but will the Bengals continue to the next chapter, or is it time to close the book on the 2024 season for the cardiac cats?
Dubs: Browns
Cleveland has had an abysmal season thus far. But was a season-ending injury to a quarterback they’re paying $230M for the only way for Cleveland to win their first game in six weeks? Since Kevin Stefanski won’t bench Watson, the football gods wanted to play Thanos and decided to do it themselves. Now, Jameis Winston resides in the starting spot as he leads the Browns to a win against a divisional rival, the Ravens. 334 passing yards and three touchdowns lead the Browns to a 29-24 victory and give them back some leverage as their QB position gets an accidental upgrade.
Scrubs: Jets
Two straight appearances for the Jets as scrubs in the Dubs and Scrubs series, as they took a loss to New England and fell to last place in the AFC East. And the Davante Adams trade isn’t aging well thus far. But what’s weird is if you look at the stats, you’d think the Jets won as Rodgers threw 2 TDs and zero picks, Breece Hall ran for 80 yards, and Garrett Wilson got over 100 receiving yards. So, in the words of James Droz, what happened? Well, a missed extra point and a late field goal, allowing a touchdown with 22 seconds left, and being outscored in the second half for the second week in a row will do that to you. As the NFL world laughs, the Jets organization slowly realizes that maybe having a quarterback as the “owner” isn’t ideal. The only quarterback that should ever own the Jets is Tom Brady. After all, he was doing it for 23 years.
Dubs: Falcons
The Falcons secured another big win against their only competition for the NFC South this year, the Buccaneers. They also have a 2-0 sweep against Tampa Bay and are undefeated against their division rivals thus far. With nine games left, the Falcons have four games against teams with a winning record. Can Atlanta make the playoffs for the first time since 2017, or are the Falcons beating the regular season 28-3?
Scrubs: Vikings
The Vikings fall to 5-2 and lose their second straight game. Great games from Matthew Stafford, Kyren Williams, and Puka Nacua, and Cooper Kupp’s return proved too much for the Vikings as they fell 30-20. As a firm believer that history will always repeat itself, I know it’s about to happen for the Vikings. The last time the Vikings started 5-0 was in 2016, and they lost 8 of the 11 games and missed the playoffs with an 8-8 record. They beat two AFC (Titans and Texans) and three NFC teams (Packers, Panthers, and Giants) in these five weeks and went into their bye week. They then faced two NFC teams (Eagles and Bears) and lost both games, which kick-started their demise in 2016. Eight years later, in 2024, the Vikings started 5-0, beat two AFC (Texans and Jets) and three NFC teams (Giants, 49ers, and Packers), went into their bye week, and lost to two NFC teams (Lions and Rams). Coincidence? Probably, but it doesn’t help that the legacy of Adrian Peterson isn’t here to make it feel better.
Dubs: Commanders
The Chicago Bears cry in their sleep as they can’t have nice things. A win against the impressive Commanders would put the league on notice, as the Bears would be 5-2. The Bears must’ve forgotten to attend church before Sunday’s game, as Mother Mary was Hailed! John 3:16, indeed! From being down 12-0 in the third, the Bears sought a comeback with 15 unanswered points with 25 seconds left. Four plays later, the Bears were two seconds away from a big win against Washington. Bears corner Tyrique Stevenson was full of confidence, taunting Commanders fans, ready to go home and win! His confidence exuded and even taunted the fans as the Commander’s receivers ran to the endzone during the final play. Bears fans say, “Bear Down,” and after this, they’ll say, “Swat Down.” Stevenson swatted the ball up, and it landed right into the hands of Commanders receiver Noah Brown, who was in the end zone for the play of the year and the Commanders dub!
Who will wear the dubs Noggin Boss cap next week? Who will be wearing the scrubs dunce cap? See ya next week!
